Being the token American of the group, I walked into my
office on Wednesday morning (yes, I had to work while you were off enjoying
your BBQs and games of corn hole), and had completely forgotten it was cause
for celebration. Upon turning the corner though, I stumbled on this very sweet
desk transformation…
Blueberry muffins, American flags, NY bagels and cream
cheese, the Statue of Liberty and pretzels. America in a nutshell.
Although my colleagues were keen on making sure I felt at
home in the old mother country, it was strange to me that so many other Brits
had no idea it was even a holiday! I was bracing myself for a bit of hostility
on the day of our secession but no, people were unphased and, for the most
part, uninformed.
The biggest letdown (other than having to go to work) was
that there were no fireworks to be had. I was supposed to make it to Camden for
a Nathan’s Coney Island inspired Hot Dog Eating Contest, because how much more
American can you get, but never quite made it past the bar across the street
from work (basically our version of the bar from Ally McBeal).
They may have tried to compensate for the dearth of
fireworks with the next day’s unveiling of the Shard, which we happened to
stumble upon after leaving an event at the Tate Modern. Emptying out river-side
after copious amount of free drinks and food which hardly passed as a canapé,
we noticed all of London lined up along the bridges spanning the Thames.
Thinking, okay maybe the Brits celebrate the day after the 4th, a
good riddance type thing, this might just be our shot at some real American
patriotic fireworks, so we tried to fold ourselves into the crowds. After
standing there for about 15minutes with no action to be had (mind you it was
well past 11pm so we figured if something was going to happen it would be
happening in not too distant future – no one appreciates the post-midnight
firework) we decided to ask a nearby photographer what was going on, and why
these thousands and thousands of people were still standing here in anticipation.
He simply said, this is it. We were so confused! What was it?? We
meandered our way down the river toward our tube stop and asked another
unsuspecting group. They said, they were embarrassed to say, they too thought
this was it, and pointed to the newly completed Shard, now the tallest building
in Europe. (59th tallest in the world)
The unveiling of the Shard was supposed to be a fantastic
and spectacular occasion, and all I saw were 5 little green laser beams
shooting out from its innards. With people honestly crowded on every crevice of
the river’s edge and bridges, it was somewhat of an embarrassment to the pomp
and circumstance the English claim to have. Some even called this “little more
than a damp squib.” Whatever that means, I agree. I’ve seen way better damp
squib in my lifetime than this sorry excuse for a lightshow. Let’s just keep
our fingers crossed this was no indication of what the Opening Ceremonies will
hold in store…
Happy 4th America! I hope you made us ex-pats proud
with your rebellious nature and ever-lacking modesty.
English word of the day: Carnage = straight up, disaster.
Usually used in reference to nights of binge drinking. My 4th of
July was straight up carnage. I was a mash-up. (will explain that one later)
