Happy 4th of July!

Being the token American of the group, I walked into my office on Wednesday morning (yes, I had to work while you were off enjoying your BBQs and games of corn hole), and had completely forgotten it was cause for celebration. Upon turning the corner though, I stumbled on this very sweet desk transformation…

Blueberry muffins, American flags, NY bagels and cream cheese, the Statue of Liberty and pretzels. America in a nutshell.

Although my colleagues were keen on making sure I felt at home in the old mother country, it was strange to me that so many other Brits had no idea it was even a holiday! I was bracing myself for a bit of hostility on the day of our secession but no, people were unphased and, for the most part, uninformed.

The biggest letdown (other than having to go to work) was that there were no fireworks to be had. I was supposed to make it to Camden for a Nathan’s Coney Island inspired Hot Dog Eating Contest, because how much more American can you get, but never quite made it past the bar across the street from work (basically our version of the bar from Ally McBeal).

They may have tried to compensate for the dearth of fireworks with the next day’s unveiling of the Shard, which we happened to stumble upon after leaving an event at the Tate Modern. Emptying out river-side after copious amount of free drinks and food which hardly passed as a canapé, we noticed all of London lined up along the bridges spanning the Thames. Thinking, okay maybe the Brits celebrate the day after the 4^th, a good riddance type thing, this might just be our shot at some real American patriotic fireworks, so we tried to fold ourselves into the crowds. After standing there for about 15minutes with no action to be had (mind you it was well past 11pm so we figured if something was going to happen it would be happening in not too distant future – no one appreciates the post-midnight firework) we decided to ask a nearby photographer what was going on, and why these thousands and thousands of people were still standing here in anticipation. He simply said, this is it. We were so confused! What was it?? We meandered our way down the river toward our tube stop and asked another unsuspecting group. They said, they were embarrassed to say, they too thought this was it, and pointed to the newly completed Shard, now the tallest building in Europe. (59^th tallest in the world)

The unveiling of the Shard was supposed to be a fantastic and spectacular occasion, and all I saw were 5 little green laser beams shooting out from its innards. With people honestly crowded on every crevice of the river’s edge and bridges, it was somewhat of an embarrassment to the pomp and circumstance the English claim to have. Some even called this “little more than a damp squib.” Whatever that means, I agree. I’ve seen way better damp squib in my lifetime than this sorry excuse for a lightshow. Let’s just keep our fingers crossed this was no indication of what the Opening Ceremonies will hold in store…

Happy 4^th America! I hope you made us ex-pats proud with your rebellious nature and ever-lacking modesty.

English word of the day: Carnage = straight up, disaster. Usually used in reference to nights of binge drinking. My 4^th of July was straight up carnage. I was a mash-up. (will explain that one later)

Will Run for Food

Ran 7 miles for what was advertised as a New York bagel.

What I got was more like a plastic sleeved, Lender’s, chewy, plain bagel. NOT the Long Island Jewish bagel I know and love so much. 

After hearing the hype of the famed bagels of Beigel Bake on Brick Lane, I set out to cure my hangover. Classic run it off, sweat it out, and then reward myself with treats from my home situation. Along the run I fantasized about which bagel combo I would choose. Like any good fat kid, I pondered; would it be an everything with chive cream cheese? Bacon and egg bagel with veggie? French toast bagel with butter? The options were limitless…in my head. As I neared the destination, surreptitiously pulling my sweaty dollars from my sports bra (cash only establishment!), I expected to walk into the scent of freshly boiling-and-baking bagels and bins upon bins of all the flavors in the world.

Instead I found this:

Also, side note - what is a chicken beigel?!

My options were entirely limited:

Beigel

            W cream cheese

            W salt beef

            W salmon

            W butter

            W salami

            W egg

None of these sounded appealing to my less than settled stomach at this point.

What is hot salt beef anyway?? Is it like a corned beef type thing? Am I supposed to know what this is as a true New Yorker? Hmm, these options just were not the top of the list at Stuff-a-Bagel on my Sunday mornings on Long Island.

Going with the safe choice, I picked the one with cream cheese. Horrified, I watched as the checker simply reached behind her and pulled out a pre-made, plain bagel with cream cheese already in a brown paper bag. Feeling cheated since that order was far too easy to warrant my run, I felt I should order something else. Pointing at some almond croissant looking thing, I had her throw that in a bag too. It wasn’t much better than the bagel.

New business plan – importing long island bagels and bagel makers. REAL ones. AND spelling the word bagel correctly.

Maybe it’s my own fault and the sign should have given it away…open 24 hours. I would have been much better off stopping in the midst of my night out, not the morning after my night out. 

English word of the day: hip flask = pretty self explanatory, but still I was shocked by the need to clarify the hip part. This term came about with one of the senior managers in my office talking about this charity Dog Sledding event he is doing in Greenland. He mentioned it because apparently they have a huge alcoholism problem there and would steal the “hip flasks” right off you! Yes, this was the piece I took away from the conversation, not the fact that this guy is going to Greenland to mush dogs. It’s the way my mind works. Don’t question it.

Miss, may I use the toilet?

Newsflash: Harry Potter World is not just a Universal Studios attraction. I am living it, and it became all too real when I entered a British classroom.

As part of our corporate goals we have to participate in a number of volunteer activities over the course of the year. Getting a head start on my goals, I decided to volunteer at the City of London Academy (or COLA as they referred to it). Getting off the tube I followed the accented little boys and girls wearing their cute school uniforms, bringing me back to my kindergarten days at St. Peter’s by the Sea. Turns out there are actually a few schools in that area, so after following those in blue I discovered I should have followed the purple crowd.

You walk in though and this school takes your breath away, and not in the “scents” that you are blasted by the odor of the cafeteria either. The building, while not quite Hogwarts-esque was definitely a case study in architectural design that we would never see stateside, or at least not in the New York public schools I know and love.

Just look at these common spaces they have littered all over the building!

And then they have special vocational rooms for all types of interests. I saw the Technology Wing 5000, complete with state-of-the-art sanders and laser designers, and hologram makers. And the Future of Computer Rooms worldwide, with robotics and computers side by side. It was truly amazing. But once we entered that “classroom” my friends, that was where the spine-tingle ceased….

The program we were leading is a sister organization to the Junior Achievement Enterprise I participated in back in Boston, but it might as well have been its second cousin twice removed! Placed in a room of 90, 13-14 year olds with 5 volunteers we had our work cut out for us. Now, it could be partly due in part to the selection of venue, we definitely should have split up these 90 unruly whippersnappers, but the behavior on these teens was appalling. From the language they used, to the horrible lack of respect for their elders they exhibited, I had to snap into mean-teacher mode, warning them that antics like this would not be tolerated in the states. Side note, at the end of the day I must admit there was a line of students waiting to receive their detention slips from the headmaster who had unbeknownst to me been passing them out like candy throughout the day!

When we finally did get them to settle down long enough the conversation was actually pretty intriguing for me, and I think I learned more than they did! As “Miss” and “Sir” for the day (their way of referring to their teachers, yea no surnames which I thought was weird!), we discussed with them career paths, laid out some educational goals, and taught lessons on budgeting – even doing a sample budget plan for them, first with their dream budget and then using the national UK average household salary (£26,800 by the way!) which gave them a huge reality check. 

Granted most of these kids wrote down they wanted £20,000 phone budgets which had to be scaled back – I mean, what is a £20,000 phone budget anyway? Diamond encased?

And what I learned in return, the British school system is whacked!!! Here’s my brief analysis for those who are interested:

Compulsory:

1.     Primary Education = 6-11 years old (equivalent of elementary school I suppose)

2.     Secondary Education = 11-14 years (broad range of subjects, your typical middle school course track)

3.     GCSEs  = 14-16 years (set of exams that test your knowledge and skill, forcing them to specialize in a few areas that they think they might pursue!)

Most schools follow the same method when it comes to GCSE's and you will take the following core subjects:

1. English
2. Maths
3. Sciences (either combined or separate Biology, Chemistry and Physics)

      + an additional 4 or 5 GCSEs which can be subjects like French, German, Business Studies, Design and Technology, Music, Sports Science, Geography, History and many other options but all leading toward what they plan to specialize in their career! But I guess this is more similar to taking AP Classes in High School…

Optional thereafter:

6^th Form – option to go to prep school for one year before A-levels

A-Levels - Basically like specializing in a few subjects. Think SAT II’s but worse, these are what you use to get into University. So basically you have to decide at this point what you want to do with your life. Heck, we didn’t even have to declare a major in college until sophomore year, and even then we graduated with whatever degree and went on to do things way outside our realm of course study! Man do I miss the liberal arts system.

OR

Vocational track - which puts you directly into an apprenticeship. (I think there’s someone in my office on this track because at one of the many work events where they provide alcohol the kid was asked if he was even old enough to drink – putting him right in line with this vocational age track.)

And then lastly comes the option of University (which means college in the US), of which they have over 100. Overall though, I can’t decide if I like the system better, giving each individual more options to decide what’s best for him or her, rather than being shepherded through grade levels and, for the most part, straight to college after high school graduation. It is a little liberating. But at the same time, maybe that freedom accounts for the terrible behavior they exhibited throughout the course of my “volunteer” day. Certainly made me miss my cubicle. (I never thought I’d say that!)

To all my teachers, I give you so much credit for putting up with us. It is not an easy job, especially at the age. I think we can officially cross teaching off my list for any future career changes. And volunteer teacher from my list of activities to fulfill my business goals.

English word of the day: Toilet. Yes, this is the same in American English, but the connotation and usage are way off. With the amount of times I heard “Miss, can I go to the toilet?” (in this case every other minute!), I decided that phrase was just not right. I’m not always the most sanitarily aware but that saying still gives me the creeps. I know that’s what we’re implying when we ask to use the restroom, ladies room, bathroom, etc. But toilet? Come on England, keep it clean.

Wunderkammer or Replica of Poppi’s Basement?

After walking past a sign for the Museum of Brands, Packaging & Advertising twice a day, everyday on my walk to work, I decided I needed to give in and see what this was all about. In a very uncharacteristic Bailey-move, I decided to wander on in without doing any preliminary research on what I was getting myself into. This worked well for our expedition to the Barbie museum in Prague (see pictures below) - the boys in my study abroad crew have yet to forgive us for that one - but since I was calling the shots today I figured, why not! 

Laid out in such a way that it takes you on a journey through time with all the BRITISH brands you know and love, I was off through the twisting tunnels of this dungeon-like cabinet of curiosities. What popular British brands did I see, you ask? Well, see that’s just the thing. As an ex-pat who still has trouble buying groceries, always unsure of what the packages are trying to sell me, I should have known I was getting in over my head, submerging myself in more and more of these “popular labels” that have yet to mean anything to my American-trained mind. They say though, the only way to learn is through complete immersion, right? Well, then, let’s file this in the education bucket, as I certainly dove head first into the world of British advertising.

I started in the Victorian era, learning a lot about Marmite, a sticky, dark brown paste with a distinctive, powerful flavour, which is extremely salty and savoury – whose slogan for years has been, very appropriately I must say, “Love it or hate it.” Based on the description, my allegiance falls with the latter. Moving on from the Victorian to the Edwardian era I found products like Keen’s Mustard, a byproduct of the first mustard factory in London, and Hornby Trains, the early, unsuccessful version of the do-it-yourself train models and tracks, which failed because young boys were lazier than Hornby anticipated and wanted the pre-assembled versions popular at the time. It wasn’t until the later decades when I was actually able to recognize some of the products and games being marketed, i.e. Rubik’s Cube (with a special Charles and Diana commemorative wedding-day design), Fanta, Monopoly (British version which replaces Boardwalk with Mayfair, Park Ave with Regent’s Street, Reading Railroad with King’s Cross Station), Cadbury, and others.  

My personal favorite, and just to bring the post full circle, was the British Barbie doll Sindy, whose “girl next door” look made her much more popular in Britain than Barbie (apparently Brits think Barbie’s a slut). Surprisingly, Sindy’s “wholesome look” was never able to cross the pond and make a dent in American consumerism, so after a few futile attempts in advertising her in the states, they gave up and returned her to the homeland.

I guess I should have read the description before entering, could have given me more of the British clue…

“The Museum of Brands, Packaging & Advertising spans a 120-year period in the history of consumerism, culture, design, domestic life, fashion, folly and fate. It is presented as a magnificently cluttered time tunnel of cartons and bottles, toys and advertising displays, and is a small part of the collection amassed by Robert Opie - son of the celebrated collectors of children's lore and literature Iona and Peter Opie - since the day in 1963 when the 16-year-old arrived home with a Munchies wrapper and declared his intention never to throw away anything ever again. The emphasis is on British consumerism through the last century, though there are items as old as an ancient Egyptian doll. One for Brit-brand nostalgists.”

Takeaway lesson – I will look into creating the American Museum of Brands, Packaging & Advertising right next door to this one for us ethnocentric ex-pats who assumed all British museums would feature pertinent American memorabilia. I’ll start by going through Poppi’s 98-year old basement collection.

English word of the day: Today I highlight the LONG E, prevalent in words pronounced lee-verage, a-meen-able, har-eem. This were all words I heard recently in conversation around the office which gave me pause to think, ok what words are they trying to use here – and yea, don’t ask why these were the three words I picked out, I assure you they weren’t used in one sentence :) The use of the long E vs. our staccato “eh” sound often causes confusion for the American tongue in England, and definitely was something I felt worth noting.

Happy Thanksgiving America!!

I am thankful for...

Bodean’s!

Where us ex-pats will be spending the holiday AFTER working a full day in the office! Nothing like a good smoked turkey at a BBQ joint with all the traditional trimmings from back home. Well, almost all, sadly I will be missing my Sweet Potato Soufflé, Manatee Rolls, Cheesy Potatoes, Green Bean Casserole and last but never, never least, my personal favorite, the Cucumber Mousse – how well do you think that travels? Can that get shipped here you think? 

I guess there’s always Christmas.

Wishing you a very Happy Turkey Day!

Are you ready for some football??

So for my first weekend in London I decided to do something very American. I went and saw the Chicago Bears play the TB Bucs at Wembley Stadium. I guess I decided I wasn’t entirely ready to leave the states and all that I associated with them yet.

Expecting there was no way to un-americanize American football, I met some fellow Yankees at a central tube stop and we were on our way. Welp, much to my chagrin, I was made highly aware of just how far away from home I really was. Turns out you can take the game out of the states, but with it goes most of the states! Reminders that I was, in fact, not in Kansas anymore…

1.     English people don’t really know how to tailgate. In fact I’m not even sure there was a parking lot, let along cars with large enough “boots” to become tailgates as we know them? Everyone came by public transport – this will become important later – and most fans only showed up shortly before kickoff (after visiting many a pub of course). LUCKILY, NFL to the rescue to set up the area seen below. Mind you this was taken once we had our American fill; I promise you it was packed with foreign revelers donning every team jersey in the league. Typically American of ESPN though to come and swoop in mother-ship style to impart the American knowledge and show them how to properly spectate the American game on their own turf. They even handed out beer helmets!! Ok maybe they didn’t go that far.

 

 

2.     It was weird seeing so many people root for some pretty lousy teams. And they were so invested!! AND rooting for the Bucs! It was weird, and I’m sure had a lot to do with the free paraphernalia the “home” team left in our seats, plastering them with pirate booty. I must say, however, I was quite pleased to see that anyone who owned anything NFL-related wore it to the game. It was a big NFL melting pot. I was just sad I left my Chrebet jersey at home.

3.     I’m pretty sure a majority of those at the game had no idea what was going on. Not to mention that the Bears threw a touchback in there! The collective “huh?” from the crowd was deafening.  These teams were really there to give the Brits a show. Trust me my English mates, that was a rarity. 

 

 

4.     Fantasy Football is kind of a big deal over here, and maybe that’s because betting is legal so they take it in all forms – equal opportunity betters? Even though the kids next to me had not much of a clue what was happening, they could tell me every player on the field and his stats for the past 6 weeks. Impressive.

5.     Fish and Chips at the stadium! Now that’s just silliness.

6.     Okay, and now for the most horrifying realization of them all…they used horses as crowd control. I know this doesn’t sound all that novel, if you’ve seen a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade or a Yankee Ticker Tape Celebration you have seen this technique employed. But they actually used them. More than just a scare tactic, these beasts became the turnstiles that corralled the crowd to the tube at the end of the game! And you all know how much I LOVE these larger than life, scary, crush-you-with-one-misstep animals…picture my excitement. The official attendance was announced at halftime, something to the effect of 76,868 so you can imagine all those people heading out at once destined for the same tube station to ride on trains that resemble miniature Disney monorails. Even though we caught the turnstiles in the open position, I did see one inebriated chap walk straight into the chest of black beauty, not sure if it even registered with him. Here’s a view from the good side…

If you look closely you can see the horses turned sideways blocking the crowd from moving forward.

Scary, eventful, all around great first weekend.

English word of the day: Crisps = chips of any flavor! Or “chip-ays” as someone I know lovingly refers to them.

Corn cup anyone?

Magic Corn cup! On the streets of London. How much more American can you get than corn off the cob in a cup! PLUS they have toppings!

I opted for the Sour Cream and Onion flavor (no one is surprised) this time. I might just go for some thai curry sauce next time! Options are endless…and yet so strange.

Good for you too apparently:

Natural Goodness 

Magic Corn retains a level of crunchiness and juiciness that’s unsurpassed. That’s because we’ve developed a unique method for extracting the whole kernel of corn from the cob, as opposed to the faster method of simply cutting the kernels from the cob. Once the kernels have separated from the cob, they’re immediately frozen within the hour to seal in all the natural nutritional goodness. No preservatives are added, of course. 

And that’s because we want you to taste only the corn and nothing else but the corn.

....seems strange then to encourage you to add a variety of flavors to the corn, in the end masking the flavor of corn entirely.