London through the eyes of a Newbie

In the continuation of the Bailey-Kills-Her-Parents-in-Walking-Tour-of-London saga, I want to take you through some of the highlights. Bare in mind, this is my uncensored retelling, and honestly, you just can’t make this stuff up.

Brace yourselves for this shocker, BUT this was actually my dad’s first time in Europe, and had he not recently embarked on his latest mission to find the bluest, warmest, cleanest water in the world where he plans to build his retirement home, I’m pretty sure those passport pages would have been completely naked. I mention this because marveling at the architecture’s antiquity, experiencing the English traditions, and taking in the history all around us, were made all the more enjoyable because we were able to do it through his very own new-to-Europe eyes.

 The colors of Big Ben were brighter…

(Dad: They must have JUST cleaned and polished that)

 

The facades more ornate….

(Dad: Unbelievable the detail they put in there!)

And the history richer than our little brains could handle…

(Dad: I really wish I had paid more attention in History class)

Given that everything he knew about Europe came from the Travel Channel, (which I was going to call and cancel on their TV if I heard one more time that “This looks just like Germany!” or “This reminds me of Rome”….YOU’VE NEVER BEEN THERE!!), and the fact that I might not ever get him to sit on a plane again for seven hours, I tried to pack in everything! EVERY-THING. See itinerary below.

 

A few highlights of the trip:

1. Tower of London – great tour, if anyone comes to London this a must-do. We loved hearing about the Kings and Queens that passed through the Tower gates, most never to walk back out in one cohesive piece. We loved envisioning how the Tower grew and was added to and changed over time. We loved hearing the legends of the Tower lore. All of it was amazing. To the point that my dad consistently kept this venue in his top three favorite things in London – although it was not without internal strife as the days wore on and we kept seeing more incredibly old things that rivaled the Tower, all of which challenged his ability to pick just one favorite event.

2. Markets, Markets Everywhere, and ALWAYS a bite to eat – now I know my father well enough to know that this was going to be a huge hit in his book. I planned to take him to all my favorite markets on all the best days. This led us to Portobello Road for some German sausages (“Just like the one’s in Germany…”), Greenwich Market for shrimp tempura and dim sum (okay this one doesn’t really scream Greenwich, but it was outdoor meats on sticks, so he was happy), Camden for freshly fried, greasy, sugary donuts, Covent Garden for looking at polish samplings and breads and sweets (we were full at this point), and Borough Market for cheeses (we decided there was always room for cheese).  I love the availability of the outdoor markets and the freshness of everything there – which made my dad acknowledge the fact that with these markets he would never cook. EVER! Luckily my mom kept control of the purse strings during these outings.

3. One Man, Two Guvnors – a British comedy. I bought the parents tickets to see this show based on rave reviews in many of the London newspapers. Not really taking the time to think about the concept of a “Governor” in English terms, foreign to us Americans, we set out to see our play and excitedly sat front row for one of James Corden’s last shows in this theatre. The slapstick, traditional farce of a show was so traditionally British that had us a little confused at the beginning, but once you got into it they had us in stitches. A lot of the jokes toed the line, and often times surpassed it in terms of what would be allowed in the states, and I will say a lot of the Cricket/Football references went over our heads, but we had a great night and loved every minute of it. It was something different. Will be interesting to see how they adapt it for the Americans as it comes to New York sometime soon!

4. Boat Cruise down the Thames – or what was actually a HIGH SPEED MOTORBOAT ADVENTURE. I was over the whole sightseeing, leisurely float down the Thames with all the history on each side, and then the slow u-turn for you to only come back and experience it all again going the other way. No. I took my parents on the RIB London Voyage Experience. Maximum occupancy on the boat was 12 and we were equipped with life preservers and ponchos in case we got wet. And we were told it was not for those with back problems or heart conditions (we snuck my dad on anyway) and cautioned to hold on “rather tightly” as soon as we emerged from the no wake zone. From there it was a race past Canary Wharf to Greenwich and back, only we weren’t technically racing anyone, but if we were, we certainly would have won. London’s speed boat experience was a fun one. Glad my mom is still talking to me after I dragged her on this one. 

5. Spending time with the family! Although it was cramped as we all clown-carred our way into my flat every night, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Given our schedule, you can see we were never really home long enough to mind it, but I’m glad we did get to decompress and discuss the happenings of each day as a family every night.

It was a fun adventure all around, albeit exhausting. Maybe I do have a future in a second career as a trip planner/tour guide. What do you think parents? Most exhausting “vacation” you’ve had in a while? Thought so.

English word of the day: Cheery-bye-bye = no translation. In fact this isn’t even a phrase at all! This, my friends, is what my dad thought they would all be saying over here in London. And since they weren’t he vowed that they would be before I knew it…luckily we kept his usage of it to a minimum while here. 

Oh yea, and I think we found next year's Christmas card...